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You have stood by us in our most testing times. You have also helped us out when we needed you the most. If not for you, Amma would not be the person that she is. Thank you for all of this.

I heard from Amma that you are going through some testing times. However, there is just one thing I fail to understand; what the test is all about. I know you are very staunch about your caste. I also know you love your son more than anyone else. Now, when it comes to choosing between the two, you have chosen your son over your caste. Thank you for doing that!

But, why would you have to be unhappy about it? The fact is that your son has found a girl to spend the rest of his life with. And, she doesn’t belong to the group you do. That doesn’t mean she is not fit to be your son’s wife. There is no need at all to cry over this. Contrarily, you can smile, laugh and enjoy the moment. It is the beginning of a new life for your son.

I am glad you ‘allowed’ your son the luxury of choosing his wife-to-be. But, my point is, you are no one to allow or disallow him from doing so. Yes.. You are still his mother. You love him unconditionally. You have given your life (okay.. almost!) to raise him into what he is today. You almost come close to being a Vikraman-film-mother sharing such sentiments. Agreed. Does that mean, he has to be under your control at twenty five? When will he be himself?

What exactly is this caste? Just a means of going along with the herd. Similar customs and culture and God. I know it will be very difficult for you to accept this explanation. Of course, I am not going to force you do that. But, you ordering your son of doing this entire marriage ritual in your way hurts me. Just like how you want your son to be married, the girl’s parents might insist on their way of doing things, too. Won’t they? And who suffers in between? Did you even see that it is your son and the girl who are sandwiched between the older generation?

Although my sermons on caste-ism may fall on deaf ears, there is a practical way of looking at it. Now, that the wedding is a reality, isn’t it better to happily do the wedding preparations rather than cry every day that it’s not according your whim? He is your son and this is something in life which will make him happy. So, why not be happy yourself? Won’t that make him happy too?

Auntie L, I might be a generation younger to you for you to understand what I mean. All I can say is, I want you to be happy. And, the only way is to let go of the control you have over your son and just love him. There.. Then, everything will fall in place.

Love you!
Maya

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