It’s been close to six years since I’ve been married and I have to admit that I’ve changed a lot after marriage. Part of it can be attributed to the circumstances. Part of it to the in-laws. And, a big chunk of it to the husband. Most of these changes appeared gradually and were not sudden. They were more out of my own will and were not forced. And, thankfully, most of these changes have been good for me.
The first and biggest change I can think of is my willingness to taste new cuisine; or even a new dish. I’ve been so reluctant before marriage to taste anything new. Even after I got married, I used to think twice before tasting any thing new. It would be a standard idli, dosa, fried rice, some manchurian, naan or whatever I am comfortable with, even while ordering something at a restaurant. Once I got married and relocated to the US with the husband, I had to change. The fact that I was a really bad cook then, made us eat/order out a lot. And, it would always be him who I left my choice to. The husband would order anything ranging from Mexican to Thai to Indo-Chinese to Italian. I got used to Chelupa. Chipotle’s Burrito Bowls (I still miss it!) Paninis. Foot longs. Green soups. And so on. Slowly, I started trying different food at home. Even though, I cannot claim everything to be a success, the fact that the husband eats it without a fuss makes me continue with my efforts.
Continuing to be on food, I’ve learnt to eat whatever is there on hand when I feel hungry. I don’t care if the banana is a little black on the edges if I am really hungry; I feed myself to combat the hunger.
Next comes music. I was very closed when it came to music. The husband, even against my reluctance would play a lot of English and Hindi music at home and in the car. Slowly, I have learnt a bit of Hindi music and enjoy it. Similarly, I was introduced to English music by the husband too. I am slowly trying to come out of my self-made shell. (Here, I have to say that I’ve introduced the husband to a lot of Raaja sir songs too!)
Okay.. You are going to gasp at this. That’s fine. I started watching ‘Friends’ only after marriage. Again, thanks to the husband. Similarly, a lot of other English rom-coms like Everybody loves Raymond, Seinfield – all came with his introduction. So was Master Chef and Devil’s kitchen.
Although I wasn’t very conservative with my thoughts, I’ve always been conservative with my dressing. That changed after marriage, thanks to my husband. He was the one who got me my first pair of capri pants. Yeah.. I haven’t gone further than that though. He’s always told me not to care about what others think of us. Now, after becoming a mother, my daughter encourages me to paint my nails. This is a chore I’ve shied away from for God knows how long. Now, I paint my nails with colours I’d never have thought I would.
One very important change after marriage is my outlook towards weirdness. It was hard for me to believe that people could display their eccentricities. After all, it is in our job description to behave normally, even though we know we are weird in some way. But that changed, when the husband chose to be himself wherever he was. Soon enough, I followed suit. Now, I don’t care if I am humming a song (even though in abswaram!) in the midst of a quiet crowd. It doesn’t bother me when I run around the ground to hit the foot ball to the playing kids. In between all this, I should say my biggest success came by when I stopped rolling my eyes when I see others do something quirky.
From my MIL, I learnt cleanliness. I know I can’t come close to her during this lifetime of mine; but I try. Genuinely try. If I could make my bed close to being as good as her, I pat myself silently. If my kitchen counter resembles half as much as hers, I treat myself to a chocolate. If I fold the clothes almost as neatly as she does, I give myself a hug. You get the drift, right?
I am still trying to learn the husband’s motto of ‘Forgive and forget’. But.. Yes, **this** is supposed to take time; at least with me. I remember the past too vividly to forget it and I hate it haunting me; yet I cannot let go of it so easily. Sigh.
Is there something you’ve changed after marriage too? I would love to hear about it.