Yesterday, the kids were playing with the blocks in the kitchen; while I was making atta dough for rotis. I had given the kids each a cup of milk to finish while making their castles. In between all this, I had this urgent urge to use the rest room. I know. I wish mothers were exempted from these petty chores like peeing and bathing. Anyway, so I ran to the toilet while telling the kids umpteen number of times to drink their milk carefully and not spill it by mistake. I was in the toilet for exactly fifty five seconds in total. No.. I am not kidding. In that substantial amount of time, I could hear screams of ‘You did it!’ ‘Why did you spill it?” ‘Amma’s gonna shout!’ and all such.
In the twentieth second (or may be twenty-first, I am not too sure!) the first one came banging on the door. I didn’t even ask a basic ‘What happened?’ I just yelled, ‘So, it was you who spilled the milk, right?’ Remember, this from inside the bathroom. I was agitated. I already had a hundred other things to do and I also had to clean the milk spilled. These were thoughts that was going inside me in those few microseconds. Suddenly, I heard a calm voice from outside. It was my son. ‘No Amma.. I came to say that I finished the milk!’ And the next one screamed – I finished mine too, Amma. Then, where did I hear those little voices from? I must’ve been hallucinating. I can’t think of a better explanation. When I came out of the toilet, I cringed at my behaviour. But, I also resolved to behave better.
What could happen if the milk was spilled? I would have to clean it up. I might have to boil some more milk for the little ones. I would lose a few minutes (and also a few pounds!) in the course of setting right the wrong. Will yelling at the kids help in anyway? No. Do we, even as adults, spill milk (or whatever!) or break cups and plates? When we can go wrong, how will children with their fragile hands and un-firm feet be expected to do things as they should?
Yeah right. But, all these sane thoughts come flooding only ‘after’ the incidents to make us feel guilty, right?! Sigh.
This time, I decided, not just to rant it here on the blog and then get back to doing what I’m good at – yelling. No! This time, I really want to take up a challenge to not yell at the kids for as many days as I can. And, so I’ve decided to take the ‘Orange Rhino Challenge‘.
I first heard about this from Monika’s blog. And then, read about it a lot. This was about a month ago. Then, I mentally made note of this and decided that I’ll not yell at the kids. I didn’t for a couple of days. But then, old habits die hard and so I came back to square one. One reason why I couldn’t last long was because I didn’t have the accountability factor. That is, I was not mentally strong enough to keep up my resolve. So, this time, I am making myself accountable here – on this blog. So that, whenever I feel like giving up, I would come back here to gain support.
So yes.. from today, I am taking up the Orange Rhino Challenge. I vow not to yell at my kids, come what may. There’s no way I would show my might on them. I know they listen better when said in a nicer way than yelling at them. And, yelling doesn’t serve any purpose. I shall go back to day zero the moment I yell at them and start all over again. I’m sure it is going to be difficult; I am also sure it is going to be fruitful. Wish me luck, please!