Ammu.. You have such pretty hair. You should take care of it.
One minute later –
Ammu.. Come here. Tie your hair.
No Amma. Never.
At least, I’ll comb it so that it will not knot.
No Amma. It will hurt while you straighten the knots out.
If you don’t come now, I’ll cut your hair like how Kuttan has it.
No. **comes grudgingly**
In the next fifty seconds that follows, you can hear as much cries as from a labour room. No.. I am not kidding. Aaah.. Ooh.. Enough. Screech. Scream. And all of it. By the time, the combing exercise is over, the mother will not have any hair in her head. Sigh.
If this is the case with combing the hair, imagine washing it. **shudders**
This one is in Tamil ‘cos it will lose its meaning if I translate it.
அம்மா.. ‘கவ்வா’னா என்ன?
??! அதை எங்கடா கேட்ட?
அந்த லிங்கா பாட்டுல வருமே??
இந்தியனே வா.. புது இமயத்தை உண்டா’க்கவ்வா’!
Come Ammu.. Let me dry your hair. ( I run to her with a towel)
No, Amma. Don’t come near me.
Why? Otherwise you’ll catch a cold.
Amma.. No. Don’t touch me. If I touch you, you’ll freeze.
(I have already frozen) Wh.. What?
Amma.. See.. I am Elsa. And, I am under a spell. If I touch anyone, they’d freeze. So, don’t come near me, okay?
(It dawns on me that they are pretend-playing Spiderman Vs. Elsa from Frozen) Yeah.. That’s okay. ‘Cos you are my true love and with your kiss, I can get to being normal again.
No, Amma. You need to just hug me. ‘Cos Hans can only kiss; while Anna only hugs and Anna de-freezes.
(Yeah whatever!) Come now, I need to dry your hair and get to doing my other chores!
Scene at the dining table during lunch. To make the kids eat, I am talking about dinner. Such a duh mother I am!
So, what do you want for dinner? Shall we make pasta?
Red or white?
(Bad question that. A tiff ensues.)
I want red.
I want white.
Red will be spicy.
White will be bland.
(God.. Why did I even have to ask this?) Okay.. Finish your food first and then, we’ll see some recipe videos and decide. Is that okay?
Yes. But, Amma can we have idli and sambar? (Kuttan, of course. The sambar man of the family!)
Why not?! Finish your food first and then, we’ll see some recipe videos. Fast. Finish your food. (Can you see how I am kannum karuthum in my kaariyam?)
But, Amma.. Why do we need to watch recipe videos? You don’t know how to make sambar? Really, Amma?
I know. **points at myself and loffs** I needed this badly. Thank you.
Amma.. I want to watch TV.
No, Kanna. Why don’t you play chess instead.
You mean, I need to start practicing to beat Carlsen?
Why not? Take that Mr.Carlsen. You might’ve beaten the Tiger of Madras, but the Kutti, which can panjufy 16 adi is coming to beat you. Get ready, man!